Love is in the air; single with flair

You might have heard the saying that many good things come in pairs, like ears, socks, and panda bears. It is Valentine’s Day. Love is in the air. Gifts are exchanged among lovers, along with an influx of lovey-dovey messages and songs. And there is you, a ‘single pringle’, waiting to be coupled up. You desire someone to fancy and prioritise you. Don’t fight it. This inclination toward romantic love is normal.

Despite the movement around decentering romantic relationships and prioritising self-love and self-care, both concepts can co-exist. Self-love will not take the place of a relationship, and romantic relationships will not fill the gap of a low sense of self-worth. It would be delusional to say otherwise.

So…what then?

While we assert that romantic relationships are not inherently superior to platonic ones such as familial relations and friendships, there is no harm in desiring a healthy romantic relationship.

At last, my love has come along,
My lonely days are over…

At Last, Etta James.

This evergreen Etta James number is one of many of its kind. It depicts singlehood as a period of loneliness, filled with yearning for the one who would come along and turn the story around. Now, this is where this harmless desire becomes potentially dangerous.

If those lyrics are an echo chamber of your thoughts, you (may):

• feel stuck like Disney‘s Princess Fiona—in a tower, waiting to be rescued.
• use singlehood as a crutch.
• feel your ultimate purpose is love and marriage.
• feel that romantic relationships are the only ones worth being a better person for.
• believe that being with just anybody is better than having no partner at all.
• likely feel that your life starts when you are in a romantic relationship.
• see such relationships as a form of escapism from reality.

How do we balance our desires for romantic love?

How do we desire healthy romantic relationships without making them the central aspect of our identities? How do we desire them without idolising them?

• Find purpose: Understand the season you are in and embrace it. Being single is a season of life that should be utilised maximally. You can’t relive it. Recognize that you are a whole person and that you have so much to offer.
  This is the best time to get your bearings right. Discover yourself and focus on your passions—the things that make you tick. Achieve personal goals and work out your problems.
• Stay grounded: Even while we coo with googly-eyed lenses, we should maintain our sense of reality. Romantic relationships are not rescue missions, escape routes, bridges over low self-esteem, or convenient ways to get out of trouble. Neither are they hallmarks of maturity.
  
  Appreciate the beauty of the displays of love that surround you. Recall, though, that maintaining the adorable stuff requires a lot of work. You must be ready to put in the work for your sake and your partner’s.

And that’s a wrap, folks. As I round up this post, I want to leave you with this thought: being single is not a waiting game but a season of self-discovery and growth.
Explore new passions, develop meaningful connections, and build a strong foundation for your future. Trust that love will find you when the time is right. Until then, cherish the moments and revel in the beauty of your own journey. You’ve got this!

Hey there, fabulous reader! If this post resonated with you or made you smile, I’d love to hear your thoughts in the comments, and let’s start a conversation. Oh, and here’s a little challenge for you: share this post with your besties and see if they can relate too.